While showering the other day, I noticed a small spider in the upper corner near the shower head. I don’t like spiders, but was feeling groovy that day. So I decided to let him live, let bygones be arachnids. I spare you little spider, go your way in peace!
Then the spider decided he was not satisfied with the corner. He started crawling onto the ceiling, creeping to the space above my head.
Yet as I watched him get sucked into the watery abyss. I wondered, “What the hell were you thinking Spider!?” I mean C’mon, if anything I’m much bigger than you. Had you had succeeded in jumping on my noggin, you still would have been washed into the drain.
You must be an idiot, what the hell do spiders have to do in the bathroom anyway?
Are you a pervert spider? Like into cross species peeping, you just happen to die while doing it?
Are you suicidal? Lost your job wrapping flies, can’t feed your 900 belligerent children? So you took out a life insurance policy so your kids would get the money after you died from leaping to your death from my bathroom ceiling? In any case, you’re dead now.