Sunday, December 18, 2011

Stranded on a desert island

If I was stranded on a desert island and could only bring with me one book, album and person….

The person I would bring, would be Paula Dean. 
The book I would bring “How to cook people.”
My Album “Complete Madness”.

Mrs. Dean loves to feed people, I think she would be okay with it. She may even give me tips on how to make her more delicious. With her food preferences I imagine she tastes like a ham wrapped in bacon and rolled in butter and brown sugar.
I know what you’re thinking, “A best of Album?” Yes it’s true, it’s my island of unimaginable horror, so plbbbb!  In reality Paula Dean is enough person, to keep me fed for a longer period of time. Thus increasing my chances of being rescued.  After all there’s no sense in having 2 starving people on the island.

I admit after making my decision, my husband pointed out that fat people are not necessarily good eats.  After all they are filled with fat, not meat. So here I am on a desert island, I have Paula Dean in a bamboo cage and she’s all gristle. I bet I can just leave her in the sun, and lick her forehead every hour. The amount of butter and bacon oozing from her pores should hold enough calories to sustain me. I guess it’s better this way, I can’t imagine how I’d carve up a person using only a coconut.
 At least we’d have good tunes.

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